This blog follows a monthly formula.
First week – bringing more love to ourselves.
Second week – bringing more love to family and friends.
Third week – bringing more love to our workplaces.
Fourth week – bringing more love to our communities and planet.
Let’s start loving.
GEMS - Begin with gratitude
Whenever folks ask, “How are you?” it takes me a moment to answer. For years, like many folks, I would answer with “I’m well” or “Doing OK” or “Hanging in there.” I answered without really thinking about it.
Sometimes I was actually doing great, sometimes I wasn’t doing well at all. ... read more
Are you listening?
I’m working on learning Japanese. That little owl from the app starts tweeting insistently until I complete my daily lesson. A few chapters in, I was happy to see that “filler” words are part of the lessons. Ano (umm), eeto (err), maa (well…). I wondered if Duolingo would teach the 'listening words,' and they started appearing in my lessons this week! Sou desho (Is that so?), Sou desu ne (That’s right.), Honto (Really?)
In Japanese culture, the listener must demonstrate to the speaker that they are genuinely listening. ... read more
Integrated Inclusion
Last month, I shared about finding an old performance review from 1997 that included personal information that we consider inappropriate and would likely be unlawful today. It's not that the laws were updated; rather, we better understand how subtle signals hit our brains, leading to unequal treatment.
If you’ve been alive in the United States during the last 10 years, you’ve heard the terms unconscious bias and systemic bias. ... read more
$hopping messages
I've written before that if you want to see what is important to you, look at your calendar and your bank statement. This week, let's take a closer look at that bank statement - where we spend and what we buy.
Last week, I picked out a specific T-shirt to wear shopping. ... read more
Finding myself, finding my people
Earlier this week, a special friend reached out to see if I could get together. Funny how when you try to plan months in advance, things fall through, but often on short notice, the universe aligns to bring people together. Such a blessed and rejuvenating time!
I wanted to be part of the "cool" crowd when I was younger. Everyone did. I was part of the geek squad. ... read more
Blood or bonds?
Last week, I watched the Oscar-winning animated movie Flow. While there are many life lessons in the movie, the one that struck me was all about chosen family. Shared experience, selflessness, and care can move us from being strangers (even enemies) to friends to family. In the movie, a scrappy cat, dog, capybara, ring-tailed lemur, and secretarybird navigate survival after a flood, and their bonds become stronger than blood.
In some of my circles, folks use the term 'chosen family.' ... read more
Learning from the past to build a fair future
This week, I was decluttering and came across a performance review from 1997. While the comments about my performance were fun to see again, the form itself struck me the most. Astounding was the “Personal History” section at the top. Much of what we take for granted in the workplace today has only recently changed. ... read more
Pick up the pickle
One critical concept from my college economics classes particularly struck and stuck with me – the concept of a public good. When everyone “owns” something, few take ownership. Taking care of the earth falls into this category.
How can one of us make a difference to help our huge home?
Fast forward a few years, from college economics classes to working for Hilton Hotels. ... read more
Rest to be your best
When I was starting my career, Bon Jovi released a very popular song “I’ll Sleep when I’m Dead.” Sing the chorus with me,
Until I'm six feet under, baby, I don't need a bed
Gonna live while I'm alive, I'll sleep when I'm dead
'Til they roll me over, and lay my bones to rest
Gonna live while I'm alive, I'll sleep when I'm dead
While the song is about living fully, it was also the perfect rock anthem for someone prone to overwork. For me it was the work hard, play hard era. I got by on 5-6 hours of sleep and vacations that were about cramming in as much as possible. ... read more
Finding your people
Three years ago I RSVP’d faster to an invitation than I ever had in my life. My friend was celebrating her birthday in Hawaii and invited several friends and family members to be part of the festivities.
There was just one detail that had me hesitate, for just a second. I’d be sharing a room, and likely a bed, with someone I’d never met before. In my younger days this would likely have been enough for me to pass. ... read more
All of me, why not take all of me
When I first entered the workforce in the early 90’s, it was still the era of “leave your personal life at the door." I don't know about you, but my entire body and brain are always with me. While I can tuck bits away for a little while, I can’t leave parts of my life or identity behind; they are always in the background.
Thankfully, the “leave it at the door” era has ended. ... read more
One does what one can
Last month, the community focus week reflected on the story of the child confronted with hundreds of beached starfish. This week, I heard an old parable for the first time, and I'm compelled to share it with others – The War Horse and the Sparrow. Thank you to Anne Lamott for sharing this parable in her latest book, Somehow.
It goes something like this,
A grand war horse was galloping along when she came upon a small sparrow in the middle of the road. The sparrow was on its back, with its legs pointed firmly up to the sky. ... read more
My brain needs a diet
Many of us make resolutions to work on our health at the beginning of the year. Most often, this is about exercise and diet. This is absolutely part of bringing more love to ourselves by feeding our bodies with healthy food and movement. ...
My diet challenge is not food. Diet goes beyond what we eat and drink with our mouths and stomachs. ... read more
Use a stamp, send a hug
My great-grandmother should have owned stock in Hallmark. She was legendary for always sending cards for every occasion. You knew she had been shopping when half of the little sleeves for cards at the local shop were empty.
I even received a birthday card several months after she passed away. Paranormal activity? ... read more
Love language at work
The research is clear and I’m not going to repeat it here. When people of ALL backgrounds feel valued, included, and that they belong in a group, they are happier and do better work. They contribute more ideas, they participate, they collaborate. EVERYONE benefits from this increase in engagement. Inclusion works – it’s not politics, it’s just common sense.
It takes work to make inclusion work. Conscious inclusion is a skill to learn and hone. ... read more
Focus on your starfish
You’ve likely heard the story of a child tossing starfish stranded on the drying sand by the tide back into the ocean. Seeing hundreds of starfish, an adult tells the child, “This is hopeless, you can’t make a difference.” While tossing another starfish into the protective embrace of the surf, the child responds, “I made a difference to that one.”
Climate change, food insecurity, poverty, disease, addiction. The list goes on, and it can be overwhelming. How can just one of us possibly make a difference? ... read more
Taking care of yourself first
I have a challenge with the term self-love. Although it has made a profound difference in the level of joy in my own life, all too often, I hear the term tossed around lightly and associated with superficial, commercial actions.
Here is my purely personal point of view... read more
I just called to say I Love You
“I just called to say I love you.” Sing it along with me. I love this Stevie Wonder song.
Maybe it strikes a chord with me because I grew up in a family where we didn't say I Love You very often, and the thought of just calling to say I Love You seemed really foreign to me. ... read more
Let's get curious
Love at work? Aren’t there laws against that! Indeed, while many folks I know met their spouses at work, that’s not what I’m talking about today.
Love takes many forms. The root of my middle name – Ai – translates not to romantic love but deep, all-encompassing love. A recognition that at our core, we are all unique divine beings who are deserving of love simply for who we are. I can love another human even if I don’t agree with their words or actions. ... read more
Make your treasure matter
We are all at risk when the most vulnerable among our communities are attacked. We may think it doesn't apply to us if we're not in that group. Yet exposure to vitriol, hate, and erasure is like invisible poison gas - it permeates our being, creeps into our brain, and slowly infects our soul and spirit. Even more insidious, it may happen so slowly that we don't know it's happening until it is too late.... read more
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