In a time when we often find ourselves divided instead of united,

Be reminded, there is only one force that overcomes fear and hate,

LOVE makes US great!

I’m working on learning Japanese. That little owl from the app starts tweeting insistently until I complete my daily lesson. A few chapters in, I was happy to see that “filler” words are part of the lessons. Ano (umm), eeto (err), maa (well…). I wondered if Duolingo would teach the 'listening words,' and they started appearing in my lessons this week! Sou desho (Is that so?), Sou desu ne (That’s right.), Honto (Really?)

In Japanese culture, the listener must demonstrate to the speaker that they are genuinely listening. This is done by using listening words and with physical gestures such as nodding and leaning in.

I'm sure you've heard folks say, "We have two ears and one mouth on purpose.” It’s more important to listen than to speak. Yet, all too often, many of us are listening to respond rather than listening to listen and deeply comprehend.

Learning the Japanese listening words and phrases has helped me be a better listener in English as well. 

I'm making a concerted effort to be a better listener, especially with family and friends. That means beginning a conversation by silently telling myself to pay attention. Second is no multitasking. Third is asking clarifying questions. Fourth is asking if they want my thoughts or just want me to listen. Last is invoking the acronym WAIT – Why Am I Talking – before I start talking.

Listening is love in action.

What are your practices to be a great listener?

Love requires participation. Love requires sharing. Love requires action. Love requires commitment. 

With gratitude,

Joyce Aiko

(yes, love really is my middle name)