In a time when we often find ourselves divided instead of united,

Be reminded, there is only one force that overcomes fear and hate,

LOVE makes US great!

Welcome to the tenth month of LOVE makes US great! This blog follows a monthly formula. Third week – bringing more love to our workplaces. Let’s start loving.

October is Breast Cancer Awareness month. 

Throughout most of my career, I was taught in leadership and team building workshops to assume positive intent of leaders and colleagues, even when their actions had negative consequences. Typically missing was how to pause before taking an action to consider all the potential impacts of even the most positive intent.

I now call this benevolent exclusion. Benevolent exclusion is when well-meaning folks engage in behavior that, while well-intended, has an exclusionary impact on a member(s) of a group that creates a negative impact.

Back to Breast Cancer Awareness month. Consider these scenarios,

Said, “She’s having surgery and will be out for a week. Even though it’s in her area of expertise, let’s give that critical work assignment to someone else.”

Intent, we want to take care of our employee and give them space to focus on their health.

Impact, dedication and career aspirations questioned.

Said, “Does stage one really count as cancer?” without knowing the person they are talking to just received a cancer diagnosis.

Intent, don’t worry, sometimes cancer treatment is not life-altering.

Impact, it is not safe to talk about cancer or treatment with this leader.

Cancer impacts each patient differently. For some it is outpatient surgery and oral meds with little interruption in their previous schedule. For others it may be chemo, inpatient surgery, radiation, meds, immunotherapy, more surgery, and on, upending every part of daily life. For ALL of the cancer thrivers I know, life as we knew it before is forever changed in some way. 

So how to avoid benevolent exclusion? Rather than making decisions or declarations based on positive intent, engage in interactive conversations about what an employee in treatment CAN do and don’t make assumptions in the interest of trying to be caring. For any illness or disability, never make statements that belittle or negate the impact of the condition. Cancer is stressful enough, please don’t add fear of exclusion at work to the mix.

Inclusion and compassion go a long way toward healthier humans and workplaces. This might look like:

How can I/we best support you? 

What, if any, accommodations do you need to be successful at work while you are going through treatment? (flexible schedule, different schedule, time off, different work, same work, etc.)

Let’s revisit every two weeks to see if the plan need to be adjusted.

(And, remember, there are caregivers to employees with cancer who may need support too!)

Intentional inclusion and constructive compassion for employees with cancer is love in action.

Love requires participation. 

Love requires sharing. 

Love requires action. 

Love requires commitment. 

With gratitude,

Joyce Aiko

(Yes, love really is my middle name.)